Thursday, September 17, 2015

Losing Focus

I have not been feeling inspired lately.

On Saturday 05 September, I went to bed with a heavy heart. I was so upset at the world and God in particular. I was questioning my life, career and growth in general.  It felt like I was moving backwards, started doubting my faith and questioning why God isn’t answering my prayers, and if he really exists.  Yeah right!

As bored or irritated as I was, Sunday Monday didn’t feel like going to church, and I shared my fears with my cousin sis whom she motivated me and said Ntando “God will never leave you now in your time of need, the devil is out to get you so that you can lose focus and miss your blessings, this is not the time to give up”. I was reminded how much God loves me.

As I got to church, the sermon shared by the man of God spoke exactly to me, and the scripture for the day was Isaiah 43:18-19. My faith was restored on that Sunday morning, I am learning to trust God more and not questioning his will about me, even if I walk in wilderness I trust him to open a road for me in desserts and rivers.  He will bring light to the darkness that I believe is in my life.

What matters most in life is Love, Family and God, all the earthly things shall follow.

I thank God for every obstacle thrown at me; they help me to seek and find him and to never forget that whoever attacks his children they have declared a war with him. From now on I will be grateful for every little that I have. 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Unemployment Pressure

Woooow, its been a while since I sat and jotted something down, i'd like to blame it on job hunting . In the past few months I was pretty occupied as it got hectic trying to secure a job but I can safely say its getting better now.

All will be well in due time

Monday, November 5, 2012

Do you ask enough questions? Or do you settle for what you know?

I have recently developed a new skill of asking questions.  It is very important for a person to ask if they do not understand something, as it somehow develops your self-esteem than settling for the little that you know. 

My first year in varsity was hell, because I was afraid to ask, worrying that what if my other classmates don’t find my question interesting enough for them to pay attention. My head would actually spin before I could toss my question. I feared rejection and discrimination. 

I wanted to speak well English like any other student in class forgetting that we all come from different backgrounds and that particularly mean; we don’t have the same accent and understanding of English. 

To this day, I ask a lot of questions and I learn from everyone around me. I learn as much as from a small child as I do from a senior and everyone in between.  My former boss used to tell me “Asking questions will better you understanding”.

How stressful can it be to find a job?
Recently graduated, looking for a job can be a foundation of stress. It is tiring and mentally challenging that somehow results to anxiety and even feelings of depression. My confidence is bashing because there aren’t any positive feedback from the companies that I applied to.

 I have this irresistible feeling that I am failing to manage, I hope it doesn’t get to a point where it affect my health. 

I currently have a fear of increasing the statistics of unemployed graduates in South Africa. My financial situation is not helping the matter, but I am intending to stay in the game. I am burying the fear of failure, hopelessness, resentment and mass of other negative feelings. 

Thinking positive and being able to deal with rejection as they arise will assist me in my war of job hunting.


Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Of all the forms of courage the ability to laugh is the most …..

Laughter is part of the common human vocabulary. Everyone understand it, we don’t have to learn to speak it. We’re born with the ability to laugh. 

One of the remarkable things about laughter is that it occurs without thinking. You don’t decide to do it just happen there and there. While we can deliberately hold back it, we don’t consciously fabricate laughter. That is why it’s very hard to laugh on command or to fake laughter. 

Laughter provides influential, free insights into my unconscious. It simply bubbles up from any intolerant situations. I always tell my friends to laugh because it is good for their beauty and skin; my exact words to them are “The more you laugh the fewer wrinkles you will have”. Laughter is indeed a powerful tool.

The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood trauma

The stories of our lives, are far from being fixed narratives, are under steady reconsideration. The slim threads of causality are rewoven and reinterpreted as we attempt to explain to ourselves and others how we became the people we are today. 

Like many others, I did not have a blissful childhood, but I have managed to make a far better life for myself and I don’t need anyone to take me back and remind me how bad my childhood was. I have learnt to let the past be, by letting go of the dark clouds. The challenges I encountered while growing up and all the family politics. 

At this moment I am making something of what I have, and enjoying the beauty of life.

Only bad things happen quickly

I guess this statement is true, unfortunately no one wishes for bad things to happen to them. I always center my mind on good things only, even though I sometimes leave a room for disappointment yet don’t allow it to occupy the whole space. 

A friend of mine got robbed at gunpoint just after she spoke to her dad on the phone, they took her cellphone. Come to think of the impact the robbery left on her. One minute you are happy and the next it’s all gone. This experience has taught me to treasure everything that makes me happy.  

I have learnt to deal with bad things in a positive manner, and stopped questioning “Why me”, who then?
Now I regard bad things as an experience that most of us must go through.